Hidden Blessings

God blessed me with an idiot filter.

I used to think my weight and looks were a downfall, but thanks to the kindness of an old friend, I realized something today...Heavenly Father has just been protecting me!

Let's pretend for a few minutes that I weigh 120 pounds. Most guys would be instantly drawn to me, I'd fit the attraction they are addicted to. I know we all have our own opinions on attraction, but the fact is that people are drawn to those that fit certain physical criteria.

Back to reality: I DON'T weigh 120 pounds, I have everything else going for me but THAT. If someone isn't attracted to me because of that one simple flaw, then they just lost out on an amazing opportunity. Sure, I'm not going to be a match for just anyone, but that's my point.

Heavenly Father has saved me from a lot of heartache. My idiot filter has weeded out those guys who aren't going to love me for ME. I don't have to put up with those that are shallow, liars, and thieves. The guy I end up with someday will be one lucky man, and I'll know he's for me because he will have made it through the filter. I know I'm an amazing person, and I know what I want in life. I'm in no hurry, divine courses are not to be rushed.

For all those of you out there who feel discouraged or worthless, remember that God has a plan for you, and who knows...maybe you have your own filter :)

Here he is!

Meet Jared

It began at the beginning of Febuary. I'd been hanging around an online chatroom for a few weeks, mainly out of boredom...living alone does that to you. I'd talked to some interesting and pretty weird people on there. Jared joined the chatroom, and because of his screename I automatically assumed he was female, but to my surprise, he turned out to be a guy ;) He hung around for a while, and eventually we started talking in private, emailing, and as things progressed we exchanged phone numbers. What an awkward first phone conversation! I was sooo nervous.

About a month later there was talk of possibly meeting. We decided he was going to fly out here for a while so he could see how he likes Arizona, and see what happens between us. Long story short, he bought his ticket, booked his hotel, and before we knew it, he was on his way! What a roller coaster ride it has been to get to that point...

I picked him up from the airport on Sunday morning, May 31. I couldn't hardly stand still while I was watching the people shuffle out of the terminal. I kept thinking I saw him, but as the person got closer, I realized it wasn't him. I looked down at my cell phone to see if he'd texted and when I looked back up, there he was! He was standing in front of me with a big grin on his face. We both said hi and I gave him a big hug. I don't think I'll ever forget that meeting!

We had a lot of fun during the 6 days he was here. He came to church with me, we had friends over for dinner, we went to Holbrook to my old roommates ranch and went horseback riding, and we went spent some time in Sedona. One of his favorite things to do here was go to the old drive-in movie theater we still have in town, and when he found out we have Little Ceasar's Pizza here, he vowed to live here someday.

I didn't like that horse so much...

He's a natural!!

Chilling out in Holbrook...he's buff! :)

Us hiking in beautiful Sedona!

Jared's 29, he's was born and raised in Boston, and currently lives in Salem, NH. We don't know where things are going, but for now it's fun to have a new friend. We get along perfectly and have current and future endeavors in common. We'll see what happens! :)

Help

I'm hurting and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I'm trying to get over a guy, but it's not something I've had to ever do before. I've been a basket case all week, and knowing you've all most likely been through it before, I figure I could enlist some help. A phone call, a visit, some advice, someone please answer my prayer.

Let's make the most of this beautiful day, since we're together I might as well say...

As many of you have already witnessed on Facebook, I've been having some more neighbor problems...I suppose "problems" is an understatement, as I have had to call the police on him 4 times in the last 2 weeks. He is INSANE. That blog I wrote "Adventures in Homeownership, Part 1" was only the beginning...here's the story.

His name is Jim Sterkenberg. He's a middle-aged, single, chronically pissy man. I smile at him in passing in the parking lot, and all I get back is a scowl. I say hello when I see him outside, and somehow I become invisible. He's given me more problems than I ever thought one person could, and I have absolutely come to my wits end.

I could use pages and pages of words to tell all the stories of what this coward has done to make my life miserable, but I'll just let this video sum it all up. Listen to it, and I'll explain what it is.



From 10pm on Tuesday night to 6am on Wednesday morning, this pounding is ALL I heard. His unit is directly above me, and what he would do is go to every room and take something like a broom and pound on the floor a few times. He'd stop for a few minute and then go make the rounds to each room again. By 12:45 (right after this video was shot) I called the cops the first time. Throughout the night I called the cops 2 more times. I had to miss half a day at work because of this idiot, I didn't get even 20 minutes of sleep that night. At the end of the video you can hear water running loudly, this is my neighbors shower. When he has it on, I can hear it clear as day. He turned his shower on at 8:30pm on Tuesday and had it on alllllll the way until 7am on Wednesday.

"Won't you be, please won't you be my neighbor?"

One of those weeks...

It's been a rough week, not gonna lie. I'm struggling with a lot of things, the main one being the fact that I feel very alone, even though I know I'm not. When I moved houses and wards, I lost a lot of old friends, and that's been extremely hard for me to deal with. Most people I know have a least one close friend they can call on, but I don't feel that way. I wish I did. Anyway...I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, and kind of let it all out. I'm not looking for sympathy, but just trying to make it through the day. Who knows, maybe someone can benefit for this blog song...I know I did.

Here's the lyrics. It really is a great song. Funny how lyrics can pick you up when you're down...

Lady Antebellum
"One Day You Will"

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Chorus]

One day you will

Oh one day you will

Adventures in Homeownership, Part 1

It's official: I'm a homeowner! Okay...it's been 4 weeks (to the day) since I've moved in, so that would explain my lack of bloggage. Actually, not really, since I still have no life and could have written hundreds of blogs in my spare time. What can I say, I'm a work in progress.

Nothing very exciting has happened, until yesterday. Lets just say I was officially welcomed into to the condominium complex by being yelled and cursed at by my neighbor. Yeah...here's the story;

I have known about a problem with my washer hookups for a few weeks now, and have just gotten around to hiring a handyman to come fix it for me, since the only skills I possess involve all things banking. My complex is apartments turned condominiums, so all the water lines are connected to multiple units. I took the morning off of work, informed my neighbors that the water would be shut off from 8:30-11:00 to facilitate repairs, and waited for the handyman. After working on the problem for a few minutes, he realized he needed more parts. By 10:45 he was on his way to The Home Depot for the second time to pick up another part. At 11:10, I was sitting in my living room and the next thing I know I hear "GUUUUUUUUUUUUSHHHHHHHHHHHHH" realizing that someone had turned the water back on (mind you, the handyman had left the pipes open...) I RUN out side, and yell "TURN THE WATER OFF!!", and see the handyman yelling at my neighbor, who is absolutely beside himself that it's 11:10 and the water isn't back on yet. The handyman runs back into my house and begins his repairs, leaving me outside to battle it out with my extremely irate neighbor. Having dealt with my fair share of irate customers at work, I tried all the usual tactics to calm him down, but nothing was working...so I started yelling, too. By this time he was cursing at me, so I walked away as he yelled "I'm going to get my mail, and this water HAD BETTER be back on by the time I get back!" (Mind you, the mailboxes are about a 30 second walk away). I frantically call my friend, Michael, and plead for him to come rescue me, which he does.

About a minute later I hear Mr. Uptight Neighbor pound on my front door, and when I open it he yells: "TELL YOUR PLUMBER THAT HE'S A ****ING *****!" Well, Mr. Plumber hears this, and yells back, using a few choice words himself, and I'm thinking "What the **** did I get myself into?!" Handyman finished the job, we turn the water back on, Michael gets there and calms me down, we mop up my flooded kitchen, and all is well.

Some adventure, eh? And I have so much more to look forward to. Michael and I agreed that on my last day of living here, I'm going to shut the water off when I leave. Yeah, that'll show 'em. :)

Anyway...right now I'm painting my bedroom, the living room, the hallway, and my kitchen. Here are some before pictures, and I'll post more as the progress continues. More to come!

P.S. THE OFFICE! Gas station proposal! Let me know your thoughts!!! It was an amazing episode, no doubt.

It's My Year!

It is the eve of my 23rd birthday, and I have a lot on my mind. I decided a little while ago that 23 was going to be my year. Change is in the air, and I can’t wait begin my new journeys. Rather than list all the things I want to accomplish, I’ll just write. That’s what blogs are all about, right?

Weight loss! I’m slacking! I need help! Two weeks ago I enrolled in a weight loss psychology class, and have learned a lot about myself and my habits in this short time. I’m very optimistic and am looking forward to getting back on track. Any help, suggestions, and comments would be much appreciated!

I want to get married. Yep. I’m going to be that blunt about it. I want marital bliss…and unbliss. This means I have to date…a heck of a lot more than I’m doing right now. Last year I had a goal to go on 12 dates (which would have over quadrupled the number I had been on my entire life), and I think I went on 6? It’s a start, but not quite what I’m looking for. 24 dates. That’s my goal. That’s two dates a month…a date every other weekend. That’s feasible, right? Check.

Malena will now be known as a social butterfly. I want to become more social, and need to find ways to do so. I’ve become slightly more social in the last few months, and am really enjoying getting to know new people and make more friends. Lets hope this can continue!

I love my job, but it’s dead end. I’ve tried three times within the last 6 months to advance, to no avail. I want to use the skills and dedication I have to be the best employee I can be, and am trying everything in my power to do so. If it means finding a new job, then so be it. I’ve been at my job for 4 years now, and I don’t want to leave, but I also want to progress, personally. Big career changes are coming this year.

Despite all the changes I am in the process of making, there is one thing I am very proud of having accomplished recently. I’m a homeowner! Okay…I’m closing on the 15th, but it’s basically mine. I found a STEAL, and am so excited to move in! I’ll be posting pictures as I remodel. Look out, handywoman on the loose!

Tomorrow is going to be a great day! 23 is going to be a great year!

P.S. Happy Birthday to my cousin Melanie tomorrow, too! :)

Blog song:
Lost-Michael Buble’…’cause I’m definitely not lost!