Moving forward!

11 more days!  Can you believe it?!

I had my pre-op appointment this Thursday and it's made my nerves calm down tremendously.  I haven't actually met my surgeon yet, but I have met the surgical assistant, Melissa, several times and I LOVE her.  She always stays in the room for at least a half hour answering my questions and jokes around with me (a huge plus in my book!). 

To my amazement, I've lost 4.5 pounds since my last visit.  I haven't exactly been eating like a perfect little dieter.  Whoops.  To follow up from my last post, I actually don't have to lose 19 pounds before the surgery, they just encourage your weight to go down, and not up :)  Going to the store tonight, I almost felt like a prisoner on death row picking out their last meal...I wanted to eat everything!

I bought sister Julia's plane ticket.  She'll fly in from SLC a few hours after my surgery.  Luckily my roommate is willing to take me to the hospital and be there with me when I get out of the surgery.  I can't even image doing this whole process without a "mom", or in my case, my sister, here with me.  I'm lucky to have a sister who is willing (more willing, I think) to take a break from her four kids and husband to come here.  Thank you to her husband for letting me steal her for a few days! :)

These last few days since I found out when I was getting the surgery have FLOWN by.  I cannot believe I only have seven days left at work before it all happens.  A new group started at work and we've been training them all week, so that's helped the work days go by faster. 

Thank you all SO MUCH for the kind words, prayers, and support.  I was a little worried about how people would take this announcement, and you've all amazed me and show me tons of love.  I can't even express my gratitude!

My birthday was on Monday the 6th.  27 is soooo going to be my year!!!  I CAN'T WAIT!

Surgery date!

August 22nd. Noon.

WOW.

So soon. So scared. Not so excited today. The mood changes every hour. Ahhhh!

Thoughts and lists from an almost former obese lady...

I'm SO excited. 

I have NOT been excited until now.  Anxious?  Yes.  Scared.  Ohhh yeah.  Happy?  Yes and no.  Excited?  Not so much.

I was finally able to get in touch with the patient liaison at the bariatric center, and while I wasn't able to schedule a surgery date, she did tell me they are currently scheduling surgeries for August 22nd. 

Yes, of 2012.

Holy crap!

This whole time I've been thinking I'd be lucky to get the surgery before the end of the year.  I guess that's not the plan now, and I'm very OK with that.

There's so much I've had to do to prepare thus far, but I'm not even close to being done.

In roughly the next month, I have to do the following:

• Finish my application for short-term disability (I'll be taking three weeks off work after the surgery)
• Get massive amounts of bloodwork done
• Get a chest x-ray
• Get an ultrasound
• Save up lots of money
• Buy a plane ticket for my sister to come down from Utah
• Lose 19 pounds
• Attend a series of pre-surgery nutrition classes

I should probably start by turning off the computer.  HA!

P.S.  When you leave a anonymous comment, please include your name.  I love getting comments, but I love knowing who you are even more!  I appreciate ALL comments!

Houston we have an....

APPROVAL!

Finally heard the good news from my insurance today! Skinny is in my future! More updates to come soon...

Paperwork?

You know I love my journeys.  Well, I've got a whopper of a journey coming up!

Hopefully most of you have seen my mysterious posts on Facebook lately about mailing in paperwork, and while I know it's super annoying to be left in the dark, there's a good reason for it! 

I didn't want to announce anything until I was sure it was going to happen. 

Here we go...

In the next few months, I'm going to shrink.  In a very good way.

I'm going to be getting bariatric surgery.  The sleeve gastrectomy, to be exact.

Before you jump to conclusions, allow me to explain a little bit of the history about my decision.

Weight loss surgery has been in the back of my mind for nearly 10 years now.  My mom took me to our family doctor several years ago, and the doctor told me I'd be the perfect candidate for surgery.  That's all nice and everything, but I can lose the weight on my own, right?

I tried.  You all KNOW I've tried.  And the truth is, someday, sometime, I'd probably be able to do it on my own. 

The thing about me and dieting is we're really good together for several months, but then things start to change.  When things change, I start to rebel, and I gain back all the weight I've lost, plus more.

I can't do that anymore.

I found out a few short months ago I have diabetes.  That's no yo-yo dieting matter.  No more gaining weight back.

I am extremely, Extremely, EXTREMELY blessed to have health insurance that is going to cover nearly 95% of this surgery.  We're talking $20-30k here.  Wow, right?

I've been in touch with Scottsdale Bariatric Center for a few years now, just in case I ever decided to get surgery.  They are, simply put, amazing.  One of the top bariatric centers in the entire world.  People come from all over just to be taken care of by the very surgeon that is 20 minutes from my house.  I am so, so blessed.

This is a big deal.  A big decision I am not taking lightly.  My live is going to change, big time. 

As the surgical assistant I met on Thursday said to me as I left my appointment, "We're going to make your outsides match your insides."

It's what I've always dreamed of.

P.S.  I'll be primarily using this blog to communicate about the surgery instead of Facebook.  It's a somewhat private matter, and I think this blog is perfect for it.

P.P.S  Please direct all comments to this blog, instead of my Facebook post.  Thanks!

P.P.S.S  To learn more about the procedure, visit http://www.shc.org/Medical+Services/Bariatrics/Weight+Loss+Surgery+Options/Laparoscopic+Gastric+Sleeving+Surgery

What does nearly two years make?

• Two fantastic trips to NYC, my new love
• Traveling, traveling, traveling
• Quitting my 6 1/2 year-long job
• Starting my new job, my other new love
• Celebrating one year at that job
• Getting two amazing roommates who taught me how to feel alive again
• Finding out I have the one thing I've been dreading for years: diabetes
• Questioning my faith
• Finding my faith
• Making new friends and reconnecting with family who inspire me more than they'll ever know

I've debated for weeks about what to say here. One word says it best about what I feel inside: Numb. Despite the fact that I feel sad, alone, distraught, angry, and empty, I really, truly feel nothing inside. I'm not in healing mode, I'm just try to survive. Putting one foot in front of the other is next to impossible when your heart hurts too much to move.

I would like to give a sincere thank you to everyone who has helped me and my family get through this immensely difficult time. If it wasn't for the love and support of those around me, I most definitely wouldn't be making it through. Words can do so much, but it's those who put their words into action that make me truly feel loved.

Goin' campin'!

It's ward campout time! I won't be blogging tomorrow. No internet---ahhh! I can't wait!

See you again Saturday :)

A little motivation for my sis :)

Motivation. That word is a curse word in my dictionary. I don't know how to define it, find it, hold on to it, and I sure as heck don't know how to spread it around. Those brief times in my life that I feel close to it, I find it ripped from my routine never to be found again for years. It's a harsh reality, and more than likely will be a life-long battle to even be able to say it outloud.

In an attempt to assist Katee, I've found a few things which will hopefully help her in her own journey.

An article by Marvin J. Ashton covered all different kinds of challenges, from physical addictions to mental obstacles. He says it best here.

2 Nephi 1:23: Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust.

It's easy to fight when everything's right,
And you're
mad with the thrill and the glory;
It's easy to cheer when victory's near,
And wallow in fields that are gory.
It's a different song when
everything's wrong.
When you're feeling infernally mortal;
When it's ten
against one, and hope there is none,
Buck up, little soldier, and chortle:

Carry on! Carry on!
There isn't much punch in your blow.
You're
glaring and staring and hitting out blind;
You're muddy and bloody, but
never mind.
Carry on! Carry on!
You haven't the ghost of a show.
It's looking like death, but while you've a breath,
Carry on, my son!
Carry on!

And so in the strife of the battle of life
It's easy to
fight when you're winning;
It's easy to slave, and starve and be brave,
When the dawn of success is beginning.
But the man who can meet despair
and defeat
With a cheer, there's a man of God's choosing;
The man who
can fight to Heaven's own height
Is the man who can fight when he's losing.

Carry on! Carry on!
Things never were looming so black.
But show
that you haven't a cowardly streak,
And though you're unlucky you never are
weak.
Carry on! Carry on!
Brace up for another attack.
It's looking
like hell, but - you never can tell;
Carry on, old man! Carry on!

There are some who drift out in the deserts of doubt,
And some who
in brutishness wallow;
There are others, I know, who in piety go
Because
of a Heaven to follow.
But to labor with zest, and to give of your best,
For the sweetness and joy of the giving;
To help folks along with a hand
and a song;
Why, there's the real sunshine of living.

Carry on!
Carry on!
Fight the good fight and true;
Believe in you mission, greet
life with a cheer;
There's big work to do, and that's why you are here.
Carry on! Carry on!
Let the world be the better for you;
And at last
when you die, let this be your cry:
Carry on, my soul! Carry on!

Robert W. Service

"Think that it's fun, that you're guided, and that all is well. Think that there's time, that life is easy, and that the best is yet to come. Think that the reasons that elude you will one day catch up, that the lessons that stumped you will one day bring joy, and that the sorrows that have crippled you will soon give you wings. Think that you're important, that you cannot fail, and that happiness always returns. And think that you're beautiful."

--Robert Dooley

And if all else fails...

Love ya, sis :)

And then there were 3...

Ah, another week, another round of MEH songs. Lets get right to it. I'm tired and want to go to bed :P

Casey - I LOVE THIS SONG. And Eric Hutchinson (the original singer). I'm nervous.
He was OK. It's not exactly a hard song. I'm pretty sure I've come close to American Idol status singing this song alone in my car on the way to work. I can't say I'm fully impressed, as it wasn't a difficult song to pull off. I need to go listen to the real thing now. I might post it below :)

Crystal - Such a cliche' song :/
Her harmonica is distracting. I distracted myself over to facebook, which means I wasn't too thrilled. I guess it was OK. I'm not a huge fan of the song in the first place, so I really have no say. Next!

Lee - *sigh*
Pitchy right off the bat. I've never heard this song before, but it was good. He got to use the raw parts of his voice, which is great :) Not too bad, but it didn't blow me away.

Casey - AWW! I love "Daughters" :) :)
I like the change-up. It wasn't completely the John Mayer version, which was nice! The problem is, John Mayer has such a powerful way of singing this song, and I just felt like he fell short on his attempt. His boredom for the song showed through in a bad way :(

Crystal - Oooo...interesting song choice!
Good energy. The middle of the song where she belted the song out was actually nice! She wasn't the cliche' yelly Crystal I've been so annoyed with lately. Nice job, dude!

Lee - I have no idea what this song is. Hm.
Oh my gosh...have I ever mentioned Lee is sexy? Well, tonight he proved it, yet again :) Aw, Mr. Sexypants got a little emotional :) I love it!

My money is on Lee :) Go Mr. SP!

Bad night

I'm too depressed to blog tonight. My poor Suns lost, miserably. Blah!

I'm going to attempt to donate plasma again tomorrow after work. Wish me luck! I need the $$$!

Naps

Maybe Sunday naps aren't such a good idea. After all the festivities last night, I was so exhausted I took a SMALL one hour nap. It is now 1:15am and I'm not even a little bit tired. Or maybe it was the massive Dr. Pepper I had. Hm.

Welcome to the beginning of a new week :) Lets hope it's a good one--one that doesn't involve being tragedy, job loss, or anything else that has plagued all our minds lately!

My night as a designated driver

You know how they always say you need to find things out for yourself rather than rely on someone else's experiences? Tonight was that night.

I agreed to go out with some coworkers tonight for a bachelorette party. The plan was to go to dinner and a club. I've never been to a club before, and had personally never wanted to, but I said yes.

Dinner was good. The club was OK. All my time was spent people watching, which is usually fun, but not when you see girls provocatively dressed and guys grinding up on them. Yikes. My friends all got drunk, which I was expecting. I proudly wore the bright green "Designated Driver" wristband and sat off to the side the whole time.

Why is it so hard to convince people not to drive home drunk? I tried to made sure beforehand that everyone had rides arranged, and half the people said, "I'll be fine. I'll only drink a little bit." Yeah, sure...

I drove two people to their car a few miles away, but they insisted they were fine to drive home. How do I stop them? It's so frustrating!!!

I'm so glad clubs and booze aren't my scene. It was nice to get out of the house, but I cannot see myself ever being in that situation again. Why do people do it?

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

Does anyone watch this show? *coughCAMILLEcough*

I've had all the episodes on my DVR for a few weeks and finally decided to watch one. One turned in to two, and two turned in to me crying and laughing and nearly throwing up.

OH MY GOSH.

How can a kid think a tomato is a potato? Or not recognize broccoli? Or not know french fries come from potatoes? It's so sad!

Please chime in if you're a regular viewer of this show. I need to have some venting buddies, because I cannot believe the things they showed and I'm so disgusted processed food has taken over the world.

I'm certainly not the poster-child for healthy eating, but if anything motivates me to change, it's seeing real life proof and witnessing how something so small can destroy your body and mentality.

Watching how disgusting school food has become makes me want to go binge on celery and apples. How can we feed our kids this crap? Better yet, why aren't we doing anything about it?

My Scottie manacotti turned 12 today!

It all started 12 years ago today.

I was in middle school, 7th grade. Katee was in 8th. We had two sisters that were expecting and anxiously awaiting the arrival of the first unknown-gender baby :)

I was on my way to art class with Mr. Winget, and Katee excitedly stopped me in the hall to tell me the good news.

Natalie had her baby! And it was a boy! And his name is Scott!

"Who names their kid Scott?!" I said :) I then went in to class and proclaimed I had become and aunt for the first time today. Can you tell I was proud?

Fast forward 12 years later, and my Scottie-boy is now old enough to pass the sacrement and enter young mens! Instead of the traditional birthday call, I texted him! Poor kid has a cell phone. I never thought I'd see the day!

Happy Birthday, Scottie potty!

AI Top 4!

Welcome back to another week of reviewing the show that no one cares about anymore, but takes up space on my DVR so I feel obligated to watch :)

Lee - When he sang in the rehearsal, I thought I might die. Have I ever mentioned he's very, very, very good looking? I'm pretty sure he's singing to me when he looks so lovingly at the camera :) I love this song!
I think the song was great for him, but it was very safe. I loved the rough parts of the song, but the rest was just OK. He missed the UMPH factor. It could have been much more creative!

Michael - What is this song from?! It sounds so familiar. It sounds a bit too gospel, which I guess isn't such a bad thing. Good vocals. Very predictable--he needs to branch out more!

Lee & Crystal - What a great combo! I liked 90% of it, but they seemed a little flat in some parts. Maybe they were trying to harmonize too hard. Hm. P.S. I've never seen Lee smile that big :D

Casey - Whoa, weird rehearsal. Not thrilled with the song choice as it's a very boring, flat song. We'll see.
Is it just me or does his hair look crimped? His vocals were good, but I didn't feel the song at all. There's just no range in it. Meh.

Crystal - I think I'm a little Crysal'ed out. Her voice is a bit nails-on-the-chalkboard-ey now. It's a good song and the vocals were great, but I think I'm over her powerful-ish voice. 6/10.

Casey & Mike - Ah! I love this song! Don't mess it up!
Great guitar playing from Casey. I was impressed. Not the greatest mix of voices, but good vocals. Well done!

Ellen's joke at the end sealed the whole show! "As a matter of fact, yes, I have loved a woman."

Second failure

I'm so discouraged.

I donated plasma again tonight and got about 95% of the way done, and my veins collapsed! The tech messed around with the needle in my arm a few times and I immediately got sick. UGH! The last time I went in, they told me if I had a lightheaded episode again, they'd permanently defer me from donating plasma again!

I asked the people there what the verdict was, but they said the staff doctor (who wasn't there at the time) would have the final say if I got to donate again. This is so sad!

I drank so much water today I thought I was going to die. Seriously. I made myself sick with water! I didn't even know that was possible!

Water...yuck!

I was finally able to donate plasma again on Friday night. It took nearly 3 hours, but I finished! My veins collapsed a few times and the phlebotamist said it was because I need to drink more water.

My goal tonight is to drink 2 liters of water before bed. Luckily I don't care about waking up to go pee, but I hope I can make it through the night without a stomach ache. Blah! Sometimes water tastes so gross.

Anyone have any tips for how to down lots of water? I usually drink double the amount I usually do when I'm drinking it with a meal--that's the only tip I can think of.

Check out my battle scar!

I hope all you mothers had a great mother's day! Yesterday was my 100th blog post :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you current and future mothers out there!

Even I, the fur-mama, got a happy mother's day from my little fella :)

P.S. My mom can beat up your mom. True story. I love you, mom! :)

Strawberry Coconut Cake

I promised a bunch of people I'd post this recipe after making it last night and taking it in to work. I hope someone duplicates it and lets me know how it turns out!

2 1/2 c. flour
2 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1 c. fresh puree'd strawberries
2 T. sugar (optional)
2 t. vanilla
1 c. melted butter
1/2 c. shredded coconut

Mix all ingredients together well. Mixture will be thick and cookie-like.

Liberally spray a bundt cake pan with non-stick cooking spray. Sprinkle extra coconut inside the empty pan, evenly and lightly covering all the sides and bottom of the pan. Carefully spoon batter into the pan, so as to keep the coconut along the sides.

Bake at 325 for 20-30 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Allow to cool completely on a rack before frosting.

The frosting I used was a mixture of puree'd strawberries, cream cheese, powdered sugar, white chocolate, and vanilla. Sprinkle fresh coconut on top of the frosted cake.

I made this recipe up!!! So happy :)